Humor

Why did the telemarketer cross the road?

I don't know.

I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the “P” is silent.

What did the horse say after it tripped?

Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!

Roses are red. I love hot food. If I was a bad bitch, I'd wanna fuck me too.

Oh wait, I am.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You smell like shit. And you look like it too.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

These jokes are old, come up with something new!

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through something so small?"

This joke is so corny I could eat it off the cob.

I should probably stop making emo jokes.

They just don't seem to cut it anymore.

Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?

A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.

Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.

What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?

The doctor taking off his watch.

What do you call a black person with a pride flag? A Cosmic Brownie.

What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?

"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"

Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.

Midget: Hey! What’s up?

Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!

What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?

Sixty nein.

Why are most vacuums gay?

They’re always coming out of the closet.

Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:

Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)

East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)

Jew...Rey (Ray)

Black...BB-8 (BBC)

Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)

German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)

6 Germans walk into a bar... and only three walk out.

What do Rapboat and Caseoh have in common?

They're both chubby.