Humor

LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.

Shrek- Should I pull the trap?

*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*

LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB

Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?

His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.

*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*

Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.

LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!

Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.

Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?

Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.

Why did the telemarketer cross the road?

I don't know.

I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the “P” is silent.

What did the horse say after it tripped?

Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!

Roses are red. I love hot food. If I was a bad bitch, I'd wanna fuck me too.

Oh wait, I am.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You smell like shit. And you look like it too.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

These jokes are old, come up with something new!

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through something so small?"

This joke is so corny I could eat it off the cob.

I should probably stop making emo jokes.

They just don't seem to cut it anymore.

Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?

A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.

Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.

What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?

The doctor taking off his watch.

What do you call a black person with a pride flag? A Cosmic Brownie.

What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?

"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"

Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.

Midget: Hey! What’s up?

Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!

What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?

Sixty nein.