Humor
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."
Yo mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Why do I tell bad jokes?
I'm a lesbian.
What do you call an emo a cappella group?
Self harmony.
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."
Jokes about the poor aren't rich.
I would make a dad joke, but I don't have a dad to joke about.
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.
Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
What do Shrek and onions have in common?
*LAYERS*
I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"
They didn't reply.
I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...
What’s the difference between an LGBTQ and brain cells?
Brain cells make up their mind.
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cellphone.
Ex-Boyfriend: How and why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die!
Name what guns are used for. {wrong answers only?}
Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.
Q. What does Kenny get when he hugs his mom?
A. A boner.
Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)
I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.
(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)
(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])
What letter is really hot? T
C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK
ME SExUAL SRrY LoL
Deez nutz!