Humor
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
Tell an orphan: if you got no parents, clap your hands.
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
All these jokes are plane wrong. My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
Why can't disabled people make jokes?
Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?
Dark humor jokes about orphans are funny because no parents are gonna be told.
Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?
A. The anti-Family Guy episode.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
Have you heard of Imagine Dragons (the band)? Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.
I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!
I'd make a joke about epilepsy, but the computer started flashing.
What goes hahaha bonk?
A man laughing his head off.
How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?
Because there is never anyone at the door.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
UR MUM!
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!