What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
Humor
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
"This tastes a little funny."
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
Me: Knock knock.
My sister: Who's there?
Me: I eat mop.
My sister: I eat mop who?
My mind: I eat my poo.
My sister getting it.
Why is there no phone in China?
Too many wings, too many wongs; might wing wrong number.
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣
Do you want to hear a dark joke? Let me turn the lights off.
A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"
I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."
Bootylicious lol
A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
Does anyone still look at this? If you do, tell me if I should make more jokes :)
The joke about the giraffe’s neck is far too long to tell.
Where did Tanner go during the 9/11 terrorist attack?
Everywhere.
A guy walks into a bar with a .44 magnum and yells: "Who the fuck fucked my wife?"
Everybody is silent for a second, then the bartender said: "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets!"
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.
But that’s just me in a nutshell.
Do you like my a-corn-y jokes?
