Humor
Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.
Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
What do Shrek and onions have in common?
*LAYERS*
I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"
They didn't reply.
I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...
What’s the difference between an LGBTQ and brain cells?
Brain cells make up their mind.
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cellphone.
Ex-Boyfriend: How and why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die!
Name what guns are used for. {wrong answers only?}
Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.
Q. What does Kenny get when he hugs his mom?
A. A boner.
Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)
I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.
(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)
(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])
What letter is really hot? T
C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK
ME SExUAL SRrY LoL
Deez nutz!
Like this joke. Ur mom.
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
One day little Jonny is in class. It is the second day back to school. The teacher is annoyed with the kids, so she goes to the front of the class and says, "If you think you are stupid, stand up." Little Jonny stood up.
The teacher asked him, "Why do you think you're stupid?" Little Jonny said, "I don't think I am stupid."
Then the teacher asked little Jonny why he stood up. Then little Jonny replied, "I just felt bad seeing you standing here alone."
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.
"Left, center, right, and apolitical, also skeptical, are also a joke."
How does the earth rate its sex?
Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.
If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!
Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?
They wanted some chocolate balls.
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!
What's the difference between intelligence and apathy?
I don't know! I don't care!