Humor

Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)

I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.

(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)

(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])

What letter is really hot? T

C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK

ME SExUAL SRrY LoL

Deez nutz!

Like this joke. Ur mom.

My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

One day little Jonny is in class. It is the second day back to school. The teacher is annoyed with the kids, so she goes to the front of the class and says, "If you think you are stupid, stand up." Little Jonny stood up.

The teacher asked him, "Why do you think you're stupid?" Little Jonny said, "I don't think I am stupid."

Then the teacher asked little Jonny why he stood up. Then little Jonny replied, "I just felt bad seeing you standing here alone."

When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.

"Left, center, right, and apolitical, also skeptical, are also a joke."

How does the earth rate its sex?

Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.

If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!

Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?

They wanted some chocolate balls.

What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?

The frog might be on his way to a gig!

What's the difference between intelligence and apathy?

I don't know! I don't care!

Why was the kid's report card all wet?

Because it was below "sea" level.

Why do people enjoy orphan jokes! Lol... I LOVE IT >:)

I'm about to tell a dwarf joke, see how short that was.

POV: You liked this joke because you're straight.

Tell world's best yo mama joke to an orphan, then watch them cry.

So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."

Dark humor leave if sensitive: Wives are like grenades: pull the ring, and the house is gone.

What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

What about the glue?

I knew you'd get stuck there.