How To jokes
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
How to get free robux: buy robux to make a game to get more robux.
Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.
I once saw a noose joke.
I wanna know how to make one :D
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he knew how to cook up FRESH BEETS!
How do you finger a feminist? Shake her hand and call her Theresa.
A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian responds with, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
How To Kill A Blonde 101:
First Step: Get a pool.
Second Step: Put a scratch-and-sniff at the bottom.
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.
Woman aren't human anyways... lol.
How to kill a blind person.
Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
How to decorate a wall:
Strip off the paper and original plaster.
Put on fresh plaster and wallpaper.
Paint it (if you want).
Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply.
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
How do you know your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull.
The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."
She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."
Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?
Do you know how to make 4 Albanians stand on a shoebox?
Just tell them that it floats.