A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian responds with, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
How to fall down stairs.
Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
My wife caught me one day for watching a porn channel, so I quickly turned the TV to a fishing channel. On her way out, she said: "You should stay on the porn channel. You know how to fish!"
I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.
if you ask an artist how to commit suicide, they will say a very creative way
Lmao, idiots don't know how to play Jenga.
How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
Person 1: You are the dumbest person in the class.
Person 2: Well, you're the second. Maybe, but at least I'm not the dumbest.
Person 2: I know how to fix that!
... Next day person commits suicide...
Nobody
Literally nobody
Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?
How to tell your kid he's adopted:
Son, I'm a virgin.
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.
Do you want to know how to make a Smurf? CHOKE A MIDGET!
Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
How to complement a depressed person: "I like your cuts, g."
How to kill a blind person.
Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?
Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"
Today, my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings. When my brother walked past, my mom asked me a question: "What do you think of going through kids' heads during a school shooting?" That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom, "Bullets." We don't talk about this anymore.
