How To

How To Jokes

Suicide

A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian responds with, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back!"

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  • Step

    How to fall down stairs.

    Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

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  • Porn

    My wife caught me one day for watching a porn channel, so I quickly turned the TV to a fishing channel. On her way out, she said: "You should stay on the porn channel. You know how to fish!"

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  • Sadness

    if you ask an artist how to commit suicide, they will say a very creative way

    Memes

    Priest

    How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.

    Boomerang

    I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

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  • Deck

    Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.

    Depression

    How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.

    Suicide

    Person 1: You are the dumbest person in the class.

    Person 2: Well, you're the second. Maybe, but at least I'm not the dumbest.

    Person 2: I know how to fix that!

    ... Next day person commits suicide...

    Oven

    Nobody

    Literally nobody

    Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?

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  • Call

    You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?

    Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"

    School shooting

    Today, my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings. When my brother walked past, my mom asked me a question: "What do you think of going through kids' heads during a school shooting?" That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom, "Bullets." We don't talk about this anymore.