Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
In an alternate universe: I don't know how to solve the power of 10, but I do know how to pay taxes.
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
How do astronauts have a party?
They planet.
Why do people play basketball?
Because they want to learn how to suck balls.
Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.
I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.
Why was the rapper always the life of the party?
Because they knew how to DROP the BEAT!
Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?
A. She didn't know how to swallow.
Do you know how to make a plumber cry?
Kill his family.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To learn how to drop some KNOWLEDGE on his tracks.
Why do orphans have phones?
Because they don't know how to call home.
My Grandma, like any other, got an APPLE IPHONE 12, but as we all know, we get dumb, and so we buy a phone. My grandma did not even know how to use it. She even said, "How do I go on Google?" I told her, "YOU CAN'T!" My grandma was, like, "Yeah right, how do I do it?"
Comment down below, does your grandma do this?
When you're in a cage But it's not real!
Being in a cage But you have the key.
Being in a cage But nobody sees you.
Being outside of a cage, but it's empty.
Living and realizing you've been born into one.
Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**.
But you can't live without them.
The cage Is you. You have the key But you don't know how to use it.
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.
How to trick a gay man into having sex with a woman?
Take a dump on her vagina!
Why do orphans not know how to play baseball Because they cannot find the home
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They roll a coin down the staircase and it says, "Ching chang chong..."
