How To jokes
What can a physically handicapped ♿ gay man 👬 do on his own very well 👏 without being taught how to do?
Perform fellatio on gay men.
Your forehead is so long, even Einstein didn’t know how to cross it.
Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.
Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.
Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?
The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?
— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.
This is how to die soft 101.
Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?
Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
How do astronauts have a party?
They planet.
In an alternate universe: I don't know how to solve the power of 10, but I do know how to pay taxes.
Do you know how to make a plumber cry?
Kill his family.
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
Why do orphans have phones?
Because they don't know how to call home.
How to silence a black protester at a rally?
TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS.
Why don't orphans know how to play baseball? Because they don't know where how is.
How to fart:
Let it go, let it go.
It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.
Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!
Why do people play basketball?
Because they want to learn how to suck balls.
I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.
Why was the rapper always the life of the party?
Because they knew how to DROP the BEAT!