How Many jokes
When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?
"One, he killed himself."
Do you know how many women have been pope?
Nun.
Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?
'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.
How many babies do you need to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.
How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, she was electrocuted.
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.
How did Jesus kill himself?
He fell from his bike.
How many times did he die?
Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.
I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four—one to hold the bulb and three to try to remember the combination.
Louis Armstrong and Tork Poettschke go for a walk.
One says to the other, "My wife always says that icke is no worse than the other men."
"How many men does your wife have?"
How many people does it take to wash the dishes?
Only Juan.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
I wonder how many people read this wrong.
How many Lowe’s could Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe’s?
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never enough.
How many dead babies does it take to paint my room?
It depends how many bullets you have.
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.