How Many jokes
There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?
There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?
If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?
0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for it being black.
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
Tentacles!
How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?
That one friend: 11 - T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
How many times do I tap that ass? OVER 9000!
How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
35! Do you have a problem with that?
Person 1: How smart are you?
Person 2: Really smart.
Person 1: Ok. If you have 3 ghosts and take away 2, how many are left?
Person 2: 1 ghost is left.
Person 1: Wrong! 0 ghosts are left because ghosts don't exist!
How many hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
You’ll parsley believe how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.
How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.
Click...uh Click..........,.UH!!
Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.
(mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)
Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?
All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off.
Okay, moving on, you took too long. How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply:* Idk how many)
3: Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply:* 3...)
Wrong, 4: Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
Why did Sully fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... "How many fingers am I holding up?"
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
How many oz of water does it take to screw a light bulb?
None, also what the heck are you doing with water when people in Africa don’t have any?
How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.
How many feet are in feet?