Quantity jokes
What's the best thing about f***ing twenty-six year olds?
There's twenty of them.
What is a good night? Sleep tight, I have four.
Two's company, cheese a crowd!
Sorry, no adults allowed.
Only 3 per person.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?
1 baby in 10 buckets.
Say what you want about Paul Walker, but he was a smart guy.
You can tell by the quantity of brain matter on his dashboard.
If Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and I had 10 to start, what do I have?
Answer: A math problem.
What's the difference between a cat and a human? About 500 bullets.
What's the best thing about 20-1 year olds... there's 20.
What's the good thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's twenty of them!
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Well, there are 69 in my basement, and it's still dark.
What is the highest number?
420.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
As many as you like. They can’t change anything.
On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."
If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?
0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.
What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is ten kids in one container; morbid humor is one kid in ten containers.
What's worse than 5 babies tied to 5 trees?
1 baby tied to 5 trees.
What’s the best part about twenty-eight year olds?
There’s twenty of them.
Q: What's the best thing about fucking 28 year olds?
A: There's 20 of them.