Quantity jokes
On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
What's the difference between a square peg in a round hole and a kilo of lard?
One's a good lot of fat; the other's a fat lot of good.
Sorry, no adults allowed.
Only 3 per person.
If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?
0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.
Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.
How much alcohol does JFK prefer to drink?
3 shots.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
102, if you have some alive ones.
What's the best thing about having sex with 28 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Well, there are 69 in my basement, and it's still dark.
If Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and I had 10 to start, what do I have?
Answer: A math problem.
What is the best part of twenty-one year olds?
There's twenty of them.
A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."
What's worse than ten babies on one tree? One baby on ten trees.
What is bigger than an elephant but smaller than two elephants?
A different sized elephant.
What's the best thing about f***ing twenty-six year olds?
There's twenty of them.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
Look at a bag of black grapes. See how dark they are? That’s how I like my men.
25 at a time.
What's worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree?
1 dead baby hanging off 1000 trees.
What’s the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds?
There’s twenty of them.