House jokes
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
Yo, Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY!
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
Memes
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!
What do you call a door that bells? A doorbell.
I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.
But you know you live alone.
During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.
What does a house wear? Address.
There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?
Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.
What TV series do orphans hate?
"House, M.D."
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,
they bring me things. <_>
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.