House jokes
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
The weird moaning sounds when you try to slide in the back door.
Followed by slipping in Kentucky (KY) Jelly.
Followed by landing in deep shit.
Followed by being totally covered in sea men.
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.
I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.
When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.
But you know you live alone.
Why did the house go to the doctor?
Because it had a window pane.
"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"
Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.
What do you call a door that bells? A doorbell.
Why can orphans never walk home?
Because there's no way to go.
I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.