House jokes
You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.
"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"
Yo mama so fat, when she went to bed, the house shook.
Why can orphans never walk home?
Because there's no way to go.
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.
Memes
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!
And he's not even left the house yet!!!
Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?
Because he was grounded.
*Ring Ring!*
Who’s there?
Soldier!
Soldier who?
You’ve soldier house! Congrats!
waHt
I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.
What TV series do orphans hate?
"House, M.D."
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,
they bring me things. <_>
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?
It's a motherfucking shitshow party!
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?