House jokes
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
*Ring Ring!*
Who’s there?
Soldier!
Soldier who?
You’ve soldier house! Congrats!
waHt
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
Why did the house go to the doctor?
Because it had a window pane.
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,
they bring me things. <_>
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.
But you know you live alone.
During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.
What do you call a door that bells? A doorbell.
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.
Why can orphans never walk home?
Because there's no way to go.