Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!
House Jokes
During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.
I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?
Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.
What does a house wear? Address.
A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?
B: I don't know.
A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...
B: ...
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
Yo, Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY!
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.
Why can orphans never walk home?
Because there's no way to go.
"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"
Yo mama so fat, when she went to bed, the house shook.
Why did the house go to the doctor?
Because it had a window pane.
