House jokes
Why did the house go to the doctor?
Because it had a window pane.
Why can orphans never walk home?
Because there's no way to go.
"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.
What do you call a door that bells? A doorbell.
I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
What TV series do orphans hate?
"House, M.D."
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.
But you know you live alone.
During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.
I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,
they bring me things. <_>