A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off." Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, “OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.” “Well, in that case, I’ll just look the other way,” said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. ! She went to the bartender and said, “Sir, I don’t understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?”

“Well, now they know you’re one of us,” said the bartender, “Would you like a drink?” “No thank you, but, I still don’t understand,” said the puzzled nun.

“You see,” laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.

Now, how about that drink?"

Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.

What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? LEAF me alone

My new leaf blower doesn’t work. It Sucks.

What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don’t leaf me when things get bad.

so I was walking in a store and a carrot and a lectus said “lectus leaf” to me.

One day leaf asks mom, “mom, why am I named leaf?” Mom says “because when you were a baby a leaf fell on your head.” The next day feather asks mom “ mommy, why am I named feather?” Mom says “ when your were a baby a feather fell on your head.” The next day brick asks mom “rhsisvrkanx” mom says, shut up brick!

Why do leaves change color in the fall? Because they want to leaf their old color

a lumberjack goes to a person´s house then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf

I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.

What did the tree say to his sister? Wood you please leaf me alone you son of a birch.

What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone

aight imma make like a tree and leaf

*u have to leave right after u tell this joke

D you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears :3

What was the oak tree’s response to the apple tree’s joke? You should leaf it alone

I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite. They just need to leaf people a lone or stick with something nicer

You’ll parsley be-leaf how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.

GRAVEYARD SAVINGS: While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”