The 40+ Best Leaf Jokes

Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.

What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? LEAF me alone

You: “Knock knock” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house”

*Apple bottom jeans plays”

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off." Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf." "Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. ! She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"

"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?" "No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.

"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.

Now, how about that drink?"

What was the oak tree's response to the apple tree's joke? You should leaf it alone

My new leaf blower doesn't work. It Sucks.

D you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears :3

whats the difference between an emo kid an a leaf... only the leaf reaches the ground.

A leaf and a depressed kid fall from a building. Which hits the ground first?

The leaf, the rope stops the depressed kid.

what do orphans parents and trees have in comon? it leafed

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke a little leaf,

Jack got high and dropped his fly,

and Jill said "Where’s The beef?"

What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree

why does a leaf fall faster thanan emo kid because the emo hang itself

What is a leaf mixed with mud called? Ligma. Ligma balls.

Joe: what do the leafs and the titanic have common Ben: idk Joe: they both look good in till they hit the ice

Official flag of Great Britain? The Union Jack Official flag of Australia? The Southern Cross Official flag of Canada? The Maple Leaf Official flag of Japan? The Sun Official flag of Orange County, California? The Nazi Symbol

Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy. They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."

Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.

He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.

"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"

Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.

He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.

He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"

They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"

One day leaf asks mom, “mom, why am I named leaf?” Mom says “because when you were a baby a leaf fell on your head.” The next day feather asks mom “ mommy, why am I named feather?” Mom says “ when your were a baby a feather fell on your head.” The next day brick asks mom “rhsisvrkanx” mom says, shut up brick!