House jokes

Why can orphans not play bingo?

Because they can't get a full house.

I love you.

If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?

In Washington D.C.

What did the cholo say when the house fell on him?

"Get off me, homes!"

Joe Mama so fat that when Santa came to our house he said, "Ho ho HOLY SHIT, she damn thick."

So one time I was looking up the definition of "accident" because I was a little dumbo and didn’t know what it meant. Then my sister walks up behind me and points at the word and says, “That’s you!” (meaning that I was an accident).

A few minutes later, we had a big family meeting and my dad said to my sister, “Sweetie, you were an accident. We didn’t mean to make you, but we still love you with everything we’ve got.”

My sister never talked to me again and left the house. She was 17 when she left. Seriously, 17-year-olds just never mature, huh?

One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!

I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.

If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,

that's a big red flag!

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

What TV series do orphans hate?

"House, M.D."

When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.

But you know you live alone.

During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.

He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.

I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.

Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?

The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!

There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?

Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.

What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?

It's a motherfucking shitshow party!

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.

Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?