House Jokes

*Ring Ring!* Who’s there? Soldier! Soldier who? You’ve soldier house! Congrats! waHt

When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.

But you know you live alone

If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former soviet union hanging on the wall,

that's a big red flag!

What does a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?

We're all empty on the inside.

your so poor if ever broke into your house id give you things

why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house.

so i went to my freinds house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out i dont like visitors.

Im so poor that when robbers break into my house

they bring me things <_>.

Batteries batteries who the batteries in your remotes and everything else you got in your house is turned upside down

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?” “No,” said his mom, “Of course not.” Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton. He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.

Yo Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY

When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple kool-aid.

If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It’s always 90 degrees there.

What song do you play at a emo kids funeral House of Pain jump around

When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no “What are you doing in my house?”

A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin? B: I don't know A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful... B: ..

How is a marriage like a hurricane?

In the beginning there’s a lot of sucking and blowing but at the end you lose your house