House jokes
Why do orphans look at a house for so long?
'Cause they never had one.
Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!
My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.
Mom: Did you finish your homework?
Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.
Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.
Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!
Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.
Son: That was cruel!
I love the chicken house that is a great place for a walk home, and walk home from a home, and walk home night, and walk home, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school.
A house has a crack. A guy covers it with Plaster of Paris.\n\nHouse: "Where the heck am I supposed to do my shit now?"
I'm the type to blow up half of my house to kill a spider... and still miss.
Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?
Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
What shows do orphans dream of?
Full House or Fuller House.
Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.
What is your name in my phone?
I love your house. I have been in your art for.
He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.
Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!
Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?
Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!
Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!
Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???
Me: Yea
Okay, long story fast, I walked to GameStop in my house, in the kitchen, by Walmart, to a BTS Squid Game concert, and Drake and Pablo were there for her labor in the Cowboys stadium by Nike, so I bought a pencil from a dead alive man. He said "ZOO WEE MAMA." So yeah.
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
Why can't homeless people buy a house?
'Cause they live on the streets.
Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,
Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.
Yesterday I went to a party at my friend’s house. Everyone was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.
My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.
When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
How much does a chimney cost?
It's free cause it's on the house.