House jokes

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

No? Neither did he.

An electrician walks into a green house. He sees a red room. He wonders why it's red because Kurt Cobain and his shotgun were sitting there.

Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.

Mom: Did you finish your homework?

Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.

Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.

Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!

Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.

Son: That was cruel!

I love the chicken house that is a great place for a walk home, and walk home from a home, and walk home night, and walk home, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school.

Okay, long story fast, I walked to GameStop in my house, in the kitchen, by Walmart, to a BTS Squid Game concert, and Drake and Pablo were there for her labor in the Cowboys stadium by Nike, so I bought a pencil from a dead alive man. He said "ZOO WEE MAMA." So yeah.

I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."

You're so short that you don't have to open the front door to get inside the house.

You're so short that you build a tiny house for yourself.

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.

Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,

Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.

Yesterday I went to a party at my friend’s house. Everyone was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.

How much does a chimney cost?

It's free cause it's on the house.

Dad: Are you gay?

Kid: Yes.

10 days later.

Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

Dad: I thought you were gay?

Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.

A kid decided to burn his house down.

His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

What do you call a house with no one living inside?

An orphan house.

My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."

Why can't homeless people buy a house?

'Cause they live on the streets.

Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!

Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?

Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!

Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!

Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???

Me: Yea