Why did Hitler's girlfriend break up with him? He Hit-ler.
Why can't Indians play baseball bc every time they hit a corner they open a shop
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?
Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain."
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.
What hit the ground first in 9/11? The people.
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a bus.
Why does Wet have a big head? Because he got hit by a wetaroid!
Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?
Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!
Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
What happened when the dog played golf?
He hit the ball into the ruff.
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer And then It hit me
Yo, three kids play hide-and-go-seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.
Shut Up hit the police station, Manners hit the trashcan. Trouble is the seeker. When they go and hide and all that shit, the policeman comes up to Shut Up and goes, "Hey kid, what's your name?"
Well, Shut Up looks at him and goes, "Shut Up."
Policeman says, "Excuse me, kid, where's your manners at?"
Shut Up goes, "Oh, Manners? In the trash."
Policeman goes, "Oh, Manners in the trash? And then policeman goes, "Hey kid, are you looking for Trouble?"
Then Shut Up goes and says, "No, Trouble's looking for me."
