Hit

Hit jokes

Airplane

    • There once were 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said, "This is disgusting!" and threw it out the window. The 2nd man bit into a banana and said, "This is rotten!" and he threw it out the window. The 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed, "ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT!" and he threw it out the window.

    Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying. He replied, "An apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The police officer said, "That is weird," and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked, "Why are you crying?" and he answered, "A banana came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The officer said, "This has been a strange day." Then he sees a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said, while he was laughing, "My dad farted and the house blew up!"

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    • Bedbug

    • Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!

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    • Hit memes

    Guitar

    • I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.

    Dad

    • A dad told his son never to hit girls, so the son replied, "I promise."

    When the son got older, he was doing the dirty with "a girl," and the girl says, "Spank me, daddy..." and the son responds, "My dad said never to hit a girl."

    Then the "girl" takes off the wig, and it's his dad, and the dad said, "Good job, son!"

    Son:...... um

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    • Orphanage

    • Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...

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    • Priest

    • Man: I must confess, Father.

    Priest: What are you here to confess?

    Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.

    Priest: And what happened to your son?

    Man: He said a man raped him.

    Priest: When and where did this happen?

    Man: A local church. I don't know which one.

    Priest: ...By whom?

    Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.

    Priest: ...Shit

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    • Bullying

    • When I was young, I got bullied by two kids, and whenever I got hit to the ground, I would get back up and cry. Then I had the courage to fight back, except they didn't get back up.

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    • Mother

    • Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?

    I really hit the mother lode with you!