Hit jokes

Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?

Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?

Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

Why does Wet have a big head? Because he got hit by a wetaroid!

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she was hit by a bus.

Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.

Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.

Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.

Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.

What happened when the dog played golf?

He hit the ball into the ruff.

A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.

When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"

God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."

I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.

And then it hit me.

There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!

Yo, three kids play hide-and-go-seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.

Shut Up hit the police station, Manners hit the trashcan. Trouble is the seeker. When they go and hide and all that shit, the policeman comes up to Shut Up and goes, "Hey kid, what's your name?"

Well, Shut Up looks at him and goes, "Shut Up."

Policeman says, "Excuse me, kid, where's your manners at?"

Shut Up goes, "Oh, Manners? In the trash."

Policeman goes, "Oh, Manners in the trash? And then policeman goes, "Hey kid, are you looking for Trouble?"

Then Shut Up goes and says, "No, Trouble's looking for me."

Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.

Man's friend: Same.

Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.

Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.

Man: Oh great heavens!

*gets hit by a car*

Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"

Me: "Please...I need my...phone."

*opens twitter*

Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"

Why did the orphan cross the road?

So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.

My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realizes I've replaced the bed with a trampoline!

I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.

If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!

"What did we hit?"

"I don't know, a rock."

When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"

I don't really understand 9/11 jokes, but they eventually hit me like a plane.