Hit jokes

Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she was hit by a bus.

Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?

Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?

Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!

Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

Why does Wet have a big head? Because he got hit by a wetaroid!

Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.

Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.

Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.

What happened when the dog played golf?

He hit the ball into the ruff.

A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.

When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"

God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."

There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!

I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.

And then it hit me.

Yo, three kids play hide-and-go-seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.

Shut Up hit the police station, Manners hit the trashcan. Trouble is the seeker. When they go and hide and all that shit, the policeman comes up to Shut Up and goes, "Hey kid, what's your name?"

Well, Shut Up looks at him and goes, "Shut Up."

Policeman says, "Excuse me, kid, where's your manners at?"

Shut Up goes, "Oh, Manners? In the trash."

Policeman goes, "Oh, Manners in the trash? And then policeman goes, "Hey kid, are you looking for Trouble?"

Then Shut Up goes and says, "No, Trouble's looking for me."

Why did the orphan cross the road?

So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.

What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?

They always getting hit.

The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...

And then it hit me.

What did the Twin Towers say when they saw the airplane?

Batter up!

So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD

Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?

You keep the tradition of hitting black things.

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.

Man's friend: Same.

Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.

Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.

Man: Oh great heavens!