Hit jokes
A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?
Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.
Do you like Wendy's when these nuts hit your face?
Three blondes were taking a walk when they stumbled on some tracks. They argued on what the tracks came from. One of them said, "it's a deer." The other said, "No it's a coyote." The last one was going to give her thoughts, but that was when the train hit them.
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
How do you make a trash can leak?
Hit it with an axe until it becomes part of the cosmos!
What do you call a Trump Supporter?
A piece of $hit!
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He got hit!
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.
Twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope I'll get hit by a car. I am not dead yet, I hope I'll die. I hope I'll be born to a new whole life.
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.
Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?
Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.
If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Life is never hard until you get hit hard with reality.
So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she got hit by a bus.
What did the Twin Towers say when they saw the airplane?
Batter up!
So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD
Why can't an orphan hit a home run? Because they don't know where home is.
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.