Hit jokes
When I hit a home run, I finally felt what it was like to have a home.
When you're sad, hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!
I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"
I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.
And then I noticed that my cat was missing.
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!
What hit the ground first in 9/11? The people.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't hit home runs.
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.
I'd hit you, but if I did, I'd go to jail for animal abuse.
A leaf and an emo are both falling from a tree.
Which one hits the ground first?
The leaf, the emo got caught by a rope.
If you hit a child, that's child abuse.
If you hit a family member, that's abuse.
If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.
If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.