Hit jokes
What hits the ground first, an apple or an emo girl?
The rope would catch her.
Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!
I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"
I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.
And then I noticed that my cat was missing.
When I hit a home run, I finally felt what it was like to have a home.
Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?
Because he's too high.
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What hit the ground first in 9/11? The people.
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.
Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't hit home runs.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It’s not like they can tell their parents.
The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
I'd hit you, but if I did, I'd go to jail for animal abuse.
If you hit a child, that's child abuse.
If you hit a family member, that's abuse.
If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.
If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.
A leaf and an emo are both falling from a tree.
Which one hits the ground first?
The leaf, the emo got caught by a rope.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.