History jokes

Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:

TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."

Smart kid!

What was Jesus' reaction when the first black person was born?

"Holy shit, I burnt one."

My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.

Americans don't like playing chess with Muslims; last time they did play, they ended up losing two towers.

I hate 9/11 jokes... They always crash and burn, like, dude, it's not funny?

Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.

Slavery has existed in the western world for 3 centuries, but in the Arab regions it has existed before and is still going on, so why don’t people talk about it?

Because it’s only bad when white people do it.

What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?

Morgan.

The Twin Towers are like snowmen; they fall and crumble.

Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.

Yo mama so fat it took her 3 seconds to cross the Great Wall of China.

What was the Nazi racing tournament in 1943?

Gasar.

What did Hitler tell the eye doctor?

“I can na-zi.”

Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.

Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!

What was the knight's name that sat at the round table?

Circumference.

What was Stephen Hawking's name before he got his disease?

Stephen Walkins.

Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?

Because she's dead.

What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?

One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.

Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?

A: She moans with the other.

We used to be the tallest buildings in New York...

Then we took an Arab to the knee.