History jokes
What was Stephen Hawking's name before he got his disease?
Stephen Walkins.
Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?
Because she's dead.
Time to go to New York to visit the Twin Towers.
They’re already getting closer.
YouTubers: Among Us in real life.
Bin Laden: Angry Birds in real life.
How did Hitler tie his shoes?
He tied them in little Nazis.
Why can’t Hitler do track?
He can’t even finish a race.
What did the Twin Towers get when they ordered an extra large pepperoni pizza?
When the pizza man got there, all they got was plane.
You know Hitler loves you when he comes up to you on Valentine's Day and he says, "Will you be my Valenein?"
What do you call a dino stripper?
A dinohore.
When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).
What did the captain of the Titanic do before the Titanic sunk?
He nominated everyone for the ice bucket awards.
You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.
What ended in 1999? 1998.
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?
A: She moans with the other.
What’s the name of OceanGate’s next submarine?
Judging by the breathing conditions on their subs, I bet they’ll call it the "George Floyd."
Q: Why can't dinosaurs clap?
A: Because they're dead.
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.
Guy: Michael Jackson wasn’t in ancient times!
Me: hee hee egypt.
We used to be the tallest buildings in New York...
Then we took an Arab to the knee.