You know Hitler loves you when he comes up to you on Valentine's Day and he says, "Will you be my Valenein?"
History Jokes
What do you call a dino stripper?
A dinohore.
When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).
What did the captain of the Titanic do before the Titanic sunk?
He nominated everyone for the ice bucket awards.
You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.
What ended in 1999? 1998.
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?
A: She moans with the other.
What’s the name of OceanGate’s next submarine?
Judging by the breathing conditions on their subs, I bet they’ll call it the "George Floyd."
Q: Why can't dinosaurs clap?
A: Because they're dead.
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.
Guy: Michael Jackson wasn’t in ancient times!
Me: hee hee egypt.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What's good about 9/11? It helped solve the world's overpopulation issue.
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?
Snoozin' B. Anthony!
Why can't America play chess?
They're missing two towers.
What died on 9/11?
2,996 people.
This joke does not work in print, you have to speak it to someone.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Helen Keller.
Helen Keller who?
(Don't say anything).
Helen Keller who?
...you will get a laugh...ty.
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
The Twin Towers are just like genders.
There used to be two, but now it's a sensitive topic.
