Civil War jokes

What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?

Morgan.

What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?

They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.

I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!

New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”

As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:

"Them slaves taking credit for everything."

Your hairline go so far back it remember the Civil War, ugly ahh.

At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.

A manager asked a black employee to work overtime. The employee initially agreed until he was told it would be without pay.

The employee responded with, "You know what happened last time my family worked for free?"

"What happened?" said the manager.

"A civil war."

Free blacks in the Civil War is the same as me drawing a reverse card in Uno.

Your hairline looks like it got burnt in the Civil War.

When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.

A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!

Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2? He killed Hitler.

This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.

Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.