Civil War jokes

What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?

Morgan.

What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?

They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.

I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!

New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”

As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:

"Them slaves taking credit for everything."

Your hairline go so far back it remember the Civil War, ugly ahh.

At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.

A manager asked a black employee to work overtime. The employee initially agreed until he was told it would be without pay.

The employee responded with, "You know what happened last time my family worked for free?"

"What happened?" said the manager.

"A civil war."

Free blacks in the Civil War is the same as me drawing a reverse card in Uno.

Your hairline looks like it got burnt in the Civil War.

Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2? He killed Hitler.

My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.

I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.

A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!

If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.