A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."
History Jokes
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?
It only takes 1 nail to hang a painting!
Ever heard of the game T.T.2: 9/11? That game was bomb.
Your hairline goes sooooo far back that dinosaurs exist on it.
Was your dad a pilot? Because I rate you a 9/11.
Why is America the fastest readers?
They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
Who’s more excited than a kid on his birthday?
Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.
Normally I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it’s two plane.
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
Yo Mama is so FAT, it wasn't an iceberg that sank it, she was called, "THE MAMABERG!"
9/11 called for help. What did that get? Nothing.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but they were pissed as all they got was plane.
TommyInnit said, "Long live the Queen." Look at where she's at now.
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.
