History jokes
Why can't all orphans learn about ancient Egypt? Because they don't know what a mummy is.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because walls.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?
Once they're gone, they never come back.
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
Memes
The Earth was flat until they buried you.
(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?
It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!
Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.
The view is so much better without those twins covering the city.
Well, that was a blow up!
Did y'all ever hear about the great thunder crash of September 11th?
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.
Who would win?
The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,
Or one horny Henry?
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn't exist then.
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."
Heard the Helen Keller single?
It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!
Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.
They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!
What did the salt say to the vinegar during the sweet and sour dynasty?
"STUPID VINIGGER!"
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.