History jokes
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza. Instead, they got a plane.
2001, Angry Birds was so amazing. Over 500 people in 2 birds.
What was the last thing that went through the 9/11 jumpers' heads?
Their ankles.
The Earth was flat until they buried you.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
Memes
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because walls.
(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?
Interviewer: Hey JFK, what’s your favorite song by Jessie J?
JFK: I er ah Bang Bang.
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
Who are the fastest readers in history?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
Another Nazi joke.
Did Nazi that coming?
Did Jew?
Why is America so bad at playing Jenga?
Because they already lost two towers.
Did y'all ever hear about the great thunder crash of September 11th?
Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.
The view is so much better without those twins covering the city.
Well, that was a blow up!
So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"
It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?
Once they're gone, they never come back.