History jokes

Your forehead is so big that it could carry the passengers of the Titanic.

What was the last thing that went through the 9/11 jumpers' heads?

Their ankles.

Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.

Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln

Did y'all ever hear about the great thunder crash of September 11th?

The Earth was flat until they buried you.

(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?

Interviewer: Hey JFK, what’s your favorite song by Jessie J?

JFK: I er ah Bang Bang.

They say Jesus walked on water.

That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.

What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?

A Butt-asaurus.

Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.

The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"

Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."

What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?

Once they're gone, they never come back.

What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?

Magic Johnson.

Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...

Q: What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

A: You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

What’s the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

I feel like the Twin Towers, I’m broken.

Jesus tried solving the Rubik's cube,

but died on the cross.

They say there is power in numbers.

Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.

Heard the Helen Keller single?

It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!