History jokes
Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
How are the Twin Towers and genders similar? There used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.
Why are Americans bad chess players?
Because they lost two towers.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
The chicken wasn’t invented then.
Memes
History meme for y’all
What was King Tut's favorite coffee?
De-coffin-ated.
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.
My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
Me: *Realizes*
Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.
My grandfather died at Auschwitz.
Poor fella fell off the guard tower.
Meaning behind the German flag: 🇩🇪 Black: culture Red: Beer Yellow: Sausage Blue: Winning world wars.
Why does America suck at chess?
They lost two towers.
My favorite sex position is the “JFK,” I splatter all over her as she screams to get out of the car 😂
My dad killed Hitler.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
No one shuts up about them.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a Muslim pilot.
What do orphans and olden day actors have in common?
Both get food thrown at them some of the time.
What would Hitler be called if he abused women? Hither!
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
What do Miss Reeves and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have a touchy feeling for kids.
Why were the Twin Towers annoyed?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plain.