History jokes

I rate my dad as a pilot 9 out of 11.

Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.

Me dozing off while driving.

Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.

Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.

My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took down his confederate flag.

Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.

Me: Cool, what rank of officer?

Jim: SS.

Me:...

How are the Twin Towers and genders similar? There used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.

Are you Hiroshima? Because I want to drop my bomb inside you.

I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.

My grandfather died at Auschwitz.

Poor fella fell off the guard tower.

My dad died in 9/11. He was a Muslim pilot.

Meaning behind the German flag: 🇩🇪 Black: culture Red: Beer Yellow: Sausage Blue: Winning world wars.

What do orphans and olden day actors have in common?

Both get food thrown at them some of the time.

What would Hitler be called if he abused women? Hither!

My favorite sex position is the “JFK,” I splatter all over her as she screams to get out of the car 😂

Why does America suck at chess?

They lost two towers.

My dad killed Hitler.

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

No one shuts up about them.

Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.

Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.

Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?

Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!

What do Miss Reeves and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both have a touchy feeling for kids.