History jokes
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
Why did the Titanic sink? Because it saw an iceberg selling candy.
What's Christian and holey?
JFK.
In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.
Sound familiar? 🤔
Well, in September 11th...
History meme for y’all
Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.
What's the difference between Jesus and a holy whore?
Jesus got pegged against a cross.
Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
Me dozing off while driving.
Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.
How are the Twin Towers and genders similar? There used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
The chicken wasn’t invented then.
What was King Tut's favorite coffee?
De-coffin-ated.
Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?
Because it had a Great Booty!
My grandfather died at Auschwitz.
Poor fella fell off the guard tower.
Meaning behind the German flag: 🇩🇪 Black: culture Red: Beer Yellow: Sausage Blue: Winning world wars.
Why does America suck at chess?
They lost two towers.
What would Hitler be called if he abused women? Hither!
What do orphans and olden day actors have in common?
Both get food thrown at them some of the time.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a Muslim pilot.