History jokes
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
I've never seen my dad since September 11. I wonder where he is...
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.
What was Jesus' reaction when the first black person was born?
"Holy shit, I burnt one."
Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:
TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."
Smart kid!
My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.
Americans don't like playing chess with Muslims; last time they did play, they ended up losing two towers.
I hate 9/11 jokes... They always crash and burn, like, dude, it's not funny?
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”
My grandfather died at Auschwitz.
Poor fella fell off the guard tower.
The Twin Towers are like snowmen; they fall and crumble.
Yo mama so fat it took her 3 seconds to cross the Great Wall of China.
What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?
Morgan.
What was the Nazi racing tournament in 1943?
Gasar.
What was the knight's name that sat at the round table?
Circumference.
What did Hitler tell the eye doctor?
“I can na-zi.”
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.
Which president has never gone to jail?
Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?