History jokes
In America, you work on a plantation.
In Soviet Russia, the plantation works on you!
What do Jesus and I have in common?
No one knows my real bday either.
If I throw a paper airplane at two twins, did I cause 9/11?
Why was 10 afraid?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.
Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.
Popcorn means Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany.
HO means a woman, in particular one who has many casual fricking encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based frick chamber in a nazi camp.
Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
Why can't you hear the Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because its pee is silent.
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
Where is Rex the dinosaur? In the ground.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims: they went through a hundred stories in 10 seconds.
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.
Why is America bad at playing Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost two towers.
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
What do u call an Asian that was born at the wrong time?
Wrong тайминг.