History jokes
Yo hairline so far back, it oversaw the creation of the earth!
Why can't America play chess?
There are missing two towers.
Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.
What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.
Why was 10 afraid?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Memes
Popcorn means Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany.
HO means a woman, in particular one who has many casual fricking encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based frick chamber in a nazi camp.
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims: they went through a hundred stories in 10 seconds.
Why can't you hear the Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because its pee is silent.
"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler."
Why were the twin towers mad?
Because they ordered a cheese pizza, but instead they got plane.
Why does New York have the Jets as their football team if those are what took out the Twin Towers?
You twin towers because I'm tryna ram in you tonight.
What do u call an Asian that was born at the wrong time?
Wrong тайминг.
Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.