History jokes
What's the difference between genocide and mass murder?
Genocide is racist.
Why are history teachers always women? Because they like to bring up the past.
What hit the ground first in 9/11? The people.
6, 7, and 8 are all scared of 10, but 10 is also scared. Why was 10 scared?
Because it was stuck between 9 and 11.
My grandpa was in 9/11. He was the best pilot.
Your hairline goes back to the first century.
You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
The twin towers ordered a pepperoni pizza and all they got was plane.
Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?
He never learned to mix the colors.
What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?
Nothing, they both fell.
Why can't a dodo fly? Cus it suicided when it saw you will be born soon.
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
Who’s more excited than a kid on his birthday?
Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.
I know a good airplane joke, but it would probably go over your heads.
The twin towers: No, it won't.
Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic.
Next, google "God in Aramaic". See the results for yourself. <3
What is the difference between me and the Twin Towers?
My mom was only airplane feeding me a spoon.
I visited the 9/11 memorial, that was bomb just like the towers.
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets them.