History jokes
Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did.
Why were the twin towers mad?
Because they ordered a cheese pizza, but instead they got plane.
You twin towers because I'm tryna ram in you tonight.
Why does New York have the Jets as their football team if those are what took out the Twin Towers?
Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
What's the square root of 2001?
9/11
I'll rate this a 9/11.
Are you Hiroshima? Because I want to drop my bomb inside you.
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?
Smoking.
What hit the ground first in 9/11? The people.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
When the North Tower saw the South Tower collapse, he would say, "I'm still standing."
As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:
"Them slaves taking credit for everything."
I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.