Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's a woman.
No, really. Why can't she drive?
Because she died.
Hippity hoppity, women are property!
I will mummyfry you!
Q: Where did Helen Keller go to school?
A: Anywhere she was homeschooled.
Nosy.
What's the difference between the Christ and Anti-Christ? The Romans put sugar syrup on the second one.
What was George's last message to humanity before joining the others?
"I CAN'T BREATHE!"
When the Two Towers ordered pizza, all they got was plane.
Who got shot in the head? JFK did!
9/11 happened... right?
The cops respond to 9-1-1... coincidence, I think not.
What kind of pizza did the twin towers order?
Two large plains.
Yo hairline is so long it makes the Titanic look tiny.
What did one statue say to another statue? "Hey! Is that you?"
I was going to invite your friends to your birthday, but they were all extinct.
I'm George Washington. I can't spell "teeth" or "American."
What is Alan Turing's reincarnation doing?
Getting revenge for what some people said about him being gay.
Q. What is the Titanic's favorite food?
A. Ice burger.
Did I ever tell you my father should have been on the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers?
But that's just my opinion.
Iceberg: You may know me.
Titanic: You are a sucker.
Iceberg: You hit me.
Titanic: Moron.
Iceberg: Waaaaaaaaaa!
Titanic: I don’t give a shit.
Twin Towers, more like dead towers.
