All of the sudden, if you're Republican, you're racist, and Communism is a symbol of freedom? What happened to the proud men our founding fathers were, damn it!
History Jokes
What do Hiroshima and Nagasaki share in common with balls?
They both drop.
Have you ever seen Helen Keller's dog?
Neither has she.
What do you get when a dinosaur farts?
A blast from the past!
Why didn’t Anne Frank just finish her diary?
Concentration problems.
What’s the difference between Anne Frank and Harry Potter?
Only one came out of the chamber.
What do you call the Illuminati when they take over the world and control everything?
The Jew World Order.
My grandpa was a great pilot, but he died on September 11, 2001.
Yo mama's so fat that the earth used to be flat before they buried her.
No one:
Literally no one:
Abraham Lincoln: *dies*
John Wilkes Booth: *ranks up*
Do you know who invented paper?
Cai Lun!
“RIP” Cai Lun.
How do you know that Americans hate exercise?
9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?
What do you call a blind German man?
A Nazi.
Why did Hitler say "nein"? Because he just got raped, bitch!
Who are the fastest readers? Nine-eleven victims, because they fell through 720 stories in under 10 seconds.
A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.
She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?
He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.
I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.
What do you get when you cross a Cuban and corrupt dictator, Fidel Castro?
Have you ever had Ethiopian food??
Neither have they.
What did Caesar’s cat say to him?
Nothing. Cats don’t talk.
Adding a "gl" in front of "camping" doesn't make it any better.
If you add a "gl" in front of "Adolf Hitler," it doesn't make him a great guy.
