Why are Americans bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they have already lost 2 towers.
Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers.
There used to be two of them, now it's a sensitive subject.
Yo mama's so fat that the earth used to be flat before they buried her.
If 6 is scared of 7 because 7 8 9, why is ten scared? Because it is in the middle of 9/11.
My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot.
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
Because they have already lost 2 towers!
What do you call a blind German man?
A Nazi.
Why did Hitler say "nein"? Because he just got raped, bitch!
Who are the fastest readers? Nine-eleven victims, because they fell through 720 stories in under 10 seconds.
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.
She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?
He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.
I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.
What did Caesar’s cat say to him?
Nothing. Cats don’t talk.
Adding a "gl" in front of "camping" doesn't make it any better.
If you add a "gl" in front of "Adolf Hitler," it doesn't make him a great guy.
What do you get when you cross a Cuban and corrupt dictator, Fidel Castro?
Have you ever had Ethiopian food??
Neither have they.
9/11.
In fields of gold, where sunshine beams, Monkeys swing and play, it's their dreams. Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, Picking cotton with delight.
Their little hands so quick and neat, Plucking the cotton, can't be beat. They chatter and laugh, they dance and play, In the fields all day, they'll stay.
Their tails so long, their ears so big, They're quite the sight, it's quite a gig. They're busy as can be, you see, In the fields of cotton, they're free.
So let us marvel at these little thieves, In the fields of gold, they give and receive. Their antics bring us joy and delight, In the fields of cotton, they're always right.
Why did Hitler kill himself? He knew the war was over at the beginning.
Yo mama so old, I bet she was born when dinosaurs were made, and also she killed them with they breath! ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
What was purple and conquered the world?
Alexander The Grape.
