History jokes

If Jesus had a gun, what would it be? A nail gun.

What did Hitler say to the sheep, "Baaarrrrrrr!" Hahaha, get it, sister? Am I rightttt?

What was Hellen Keller's dog's name?

Durrrrrrrr.

God said the first person to kill Hitler goes to heaven.

Hitler: Kills himself.

Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?

Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.

I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.

What’s the difference between Rosa Parks and Muhammad Ali?

One fought for freedom, the other fought for fun.

What’s the difference between Anne Frank and Harry Potter?

Only one came out of the chamber.

How do you know that Americans hate exercise?

9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?

WOW! I CAN SEE THE TWIN TOWERS FROM HERE.

Trump really fractured the US with his 1/6 insurrection...

Yo mama's so fat that the earth used to be flat before they buried her.

My grandpa was a great pilot, but he died on September 11, 2001.

What do you call a blind German man?

A Nazi.

Yo mama so old, she pre-ordered the Bible.

My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Me: 911. You: You died 9/11.

People in 1912: The Titanic is unsinkable!

Iceberg: Hold my beer.

My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot.

How did Princess Diana die?

Giving the glove box head.