History jokes
What's a cow's favorite newspaper?
The Daily M0Os.
Oh my frickig god, cleared my history and forgot my password for this, 3th account!
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!”
A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him. Later, he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?”
The man responds, “Of course, I was thinking about Hitler!”
Stalin lets him go, but then he stops the soldier and says, “Who were YOU thinking about?”
I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets.
He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.
Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A: Lickalotofpuss.
In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.
In Soviet Russia, it's called aregoslavia.
In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.
In Soviet Russia, it's called yugostravia.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotopuss
"Black midget porn is in 911."
What's the Twin Towers' most favorite band? Al Qaedirection.
What was Jesus scared of the most?
Snails.
Why couldn't the dinosaur clap? They're dead!
You walk inside a building, then you see a blind German, then you call him his name.
Answer: Nazi.
Why do people think Mozart was autistic?
Because he was probably retarded.
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.
Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.
Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?
Why can't America play chess?
They're already missing 2 towers.
What was Hellen Keller's dog's name?
Durrrrrrrr.
If Jesus had a gun, what would it be? A nail gun.
What did Hitler say to the sheep, "Baaarrrrrrr!" Hahaha, get it, sister? Am I rightttt?
God said the first person to kill Hitler goes to heaven.
Hitler: Kills himself.