History jokes
What was Jesus scared of the most?
Snails.
Why couldn't the dinosaur clap? They're dead!
You walk inside a building, then you see a blind German, then you call him his name.
Answer: Nazi.
Why do people think Mozart was autistic?
Because he was probably retarded.
God said the first person to kill Hitler goes to heaven.
Hitler: Kills himself.
What was Hellen Keller's dog's name?
Durrrrrrrr.
What did Hitler say to the sheep, "Baaarrrrrrr!" Hahaha, get it, sister? Am I rightttt?
If Jesus had a gun, what would it be? A nail gun.
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.
Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.
Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?
Q: Name a murderer?
A: Jews: Hitler. Russians: Stalin. Chinese: Mao. Americans: Bin Laden. Aborted fetus: My mom.
Yo mama so old, she pre-ordered the Bible.
My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot.
People in 1912: The Titanic is unsinkable!
Iceberg: Hold my beer.
Why are Americans bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they have already lost 2 towers.
What's the best thing about 9/11 jokes...
They make you collapse with laughter because the Twin Towers collapsed.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Me: 911. You: You died 9/11.
How did Princess Diana die?
Giving the glove box head.