Hell jokes

Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?

He'll have you in "Stitches"!

What's the difference between school and Hell?

There is no difference.

This is just a bad emo pickup line, lmao.

Are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in!

Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.

Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?

What did Satin say to God??

"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"

I AM FUCKING HAPPY AS HELL.

Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.

Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?

Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.

Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.

Teacher: He did not.

Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.

Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.

Suzy: Then you can ask him.

Yo mama so Karen that when she went to hell, she asked Satan for the manager.

When Leicester City won the league in 2015/16, do you think there was a little lad in Africa running around with "Drinkwater" on his back, annoying the hell out of the locals?

Rot in hell?

More like nasty-ass thot in a well.

What do you call a helicopter, elephant, and rhino?

Hellephino (Hell if I know)

Why did that fish cross the road?

Just for the halibut (hell of it)!

What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?

Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.

Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.

He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.

I burnt down a whole forest and asked myself, "Is this hell?"

You call it Hell. I call it Saunaworld DX.

I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.

He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"

Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"

My dad owns a countertop store and sometimes he'll barter.

A lot of the time he will take things for granite.

A lot of counter-offers were made.

My best opinion: when life goes to hell, you just go down with it.