Hell jokes
What did the helicopter say to the mountain?
Kobe!!!
Just send me to hell already.
Give a man a match, and he's warm for a few minutes. Set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Before Marriage Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy😍
After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.
What the hell dam, hell dam?
Why Satan didn't stop sending messages to God about hell?
'Cause they made a juice out of him.
Dark humour : hell!!! Aren't people racist!!!
Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."
"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.
"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."
The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"
The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"
Danny, your mum [is] dead as hell and got raggedy shoes on.
So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.
He'll probably leave her alone now.
He doesn't eat vegetables.
What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?
Cold as hell.
Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish, and he'll become a prince.
The other day this duck came by the gas station. He asked the cashier, "Do you have any duck food here?"
The cashier said, "Hell naw, I got no damn duck food. This the gas station, not no damn swamp, and I ain't ya mama."
Then the duck asked him two more times, and then the cashier said, "For the last time, no, I don't have any duck food here for you, ok? If you ask me again, I will put you in the oven and deep-fry you like Kentucky Fried Chicken."
Why does Beethoven's music sound like hell sometimes?
Because he doesn't listen to it!
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
Devil: Hey angel.
Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?
Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?
Angel: What?
Devil: Angelpinos!
A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
How did Helen Keller know she went to hell?
She didn't.
Why did that fish cross the road?
Just for the halibut (hell of it)!
Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.
Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?
Hell you fuck, bitch, dick!