Satan jokes
What’s the opposite of an exorcism?
It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.
Angel: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Satan: Could you like FUCK OFF FOR ONE MINUTE?
Yo mama is so ugly that Satan started going to church!
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
What is Satan's way to go to places? A helicopter.
Did you fall from Heaven? Because so did Satan.
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both want Anthony's neck.
Satan: "Why are you in hell?"
Me: "I threw itching powder on somebody with no arms."
Why is an orphan into worshiping Satan?
'Cause they get to call someone "master" and be freaky.
Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."
Yo mama so ugly, she had to ask Satan to help her give birth!
I'd say you were the spawn of Satan, but that would be an insult to Satan.
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
God made Adam and Eve. Satan made Adam and Steve.
Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.
Yo mama so Karen that when she went to hell, she asked Satan for the manager.
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
Lol, 1 week anniversary of me being on Worst Jokes Ever...
J0K35: *LETS START A JOKING KEGGAR*
A Joking keggar is where I get you drunk with some jokes, only on a special occasion.
Okay, y'all ready to get drunk with raging jokes? OK LETS GOOOOo
What do you call an LGBTQ+ disc jockey?
A DG (dee gay)
What does lava use when it can't walk properly?
A volCANEo
What do crackheads do when a black man got brutalized?
They start a HIGHot (say it like hi-ot, _riot_)
What is Satan's favorite DJ?
MarshHELLo
What do neck breakers use?
Snapchat
What did Twitter and Reddit eat with chocolate and marshmallows?
Instagraham crackers
Is this the last joke?
No
What is similar between a dog and my ex?
They are both commonly known as bitches
What number has a flu from a pig?
Nine flu (swine flu)
What did the loaf say when he was playing hide and seek?
BREADY OR NOT? HERE I GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Who is the best anime girl?
Well, it's pretty obvious 02 is on the second rank
Why did Sally get caned?
Because old men hurriCANED.
That was all
OR WAS IT?
Yes, it was (Come back on Halloween for another Joking Keggar)
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both love naughty souls.
The reason why God and Jesus have eternal life and the power, aka (holy spirit) is to control us, take our free will, and our eternal life, which is our heaven. Our time!
Just to show up, in the nick of time for the second coming in full costume ready to judge us. Them spending a lifetime preparing their big speech, their excuse of them hiding this whole time.
Lol, Surprise!
Joke being on them.
As we all stand there and are there to judge them, doing what they said they were made for.
Taking our eternal life back from Satan and the Devil and sending them to their home they created themselves!
HELL!
P.S. With a little extra punishments!