Eternity jokes
When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
Doom is eternal.
I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
You call it death. I call it peace and quiet.
What is hell to you?
Jesus!!!!!
He is everywhere taking our time and energy and our lives for his entertainment.
But Judgment Day is his eternal hell!
And our Eternal Heaven!!
I was staying over at my friend's; for the purpose of the joke, he shall be called Kian. It was 03:00 am and everyone else was asleep when I heard a soft banging on the wall. I left the room to inspect it. Kian lived with his grandad John Hauge; it was thought he had a huge slong.
The banging was getting louder, and so too was my heartbeat. I opened John's door and ventured into the room. John was fully naked. There was a glory hole through the wall where I could make it Kian's ass. This is what I have been waiting for. I rip off my shorts, which Ali G bought for me, and silently moved towards John. I shoved [my] 1-inch wonder in his ear. John furiously turned around and slapped me with his cock, "You little gimp, get on the bed."
Kian came in the room with a 2-litre bottle of Irn Bru. He demanded, "What the fudge are you doing?"
I replied smoothly, "Kian, you tracksuit warrior, you have a camel toe!"
Kian fires back, "Shut it, Paul, you have genital warts!"
John screams, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
He then gives us it so rough I can't walk the next day, but [I] feel pleasured for eternity.
By Lewis
And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
God: “Steven, join us.”
*sees the staircase to heaven*
Steven: “Shit.”
Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
Yo Mama is so dumb, she stares at a juice carton for an eternity because it says "Concentrate" on the box.
"Wakanda Forever" didn't last forever.
Why can't Heaven and Hell ever be one 2nd paradise?
Heaven always has 5-star reviews.
The reason why God and Jesus have eternal life and the power, aka (holy spirit) is to control us, take our free will, and our eternal life, which is our heaven. Our time!
Just to show up, in the nick of time for the second coming in full costume ready to judge us. Them spending a lifetime preparing their big speech, their excuse of them hiding this whole time.
Lol, Surprise!
Joke being on them.
As we all stand there and are there to judge them, doing what they said they were made for.
Taking our eternal life back from Satan and the Devil and sending them to their home they created themselves!
HELL!
P.S. With a little extra punishments!
God, you’re having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.
Guy: Where are they then?
Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].