Height jokes
Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.
You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice and dreams.
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
I would make a joke about short people, but they probably couldn't hear it.
What do you call a dark, average height Punjabi male?
Josiah.
Memes
Yo mama so tall, she eats paramedics.
Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.
Gently throw a baby off a ten story building!
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, because it’s the normal person's height.
What did the janitor think when he was mopping the 101st floor?
The 102nd.
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...
Why are short people sad?
Don't judge though, it's crap but...
Because they couldn't reach happiness.
It's gonna take a step stool to get a blow job.
You're so short that you don't have to open the front door to get inside the house.
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips!
You’re so short, you could sweep under your bed while standing.
You’re so short, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.
Why did the short person become a chef?
Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!