Height jokes

What is the most dangerous mountain? Kilimanjaro.

Your mummy is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.

When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?

My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.

Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea.

Six Seven went to a barber shop. He asked the barber if he could have the "six seven" cut.

Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.

You’re so short, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.

If I went out with a dwarf, when I pick them up, I'll say, "Wassup short?"

I ran into a dwarf, and he said, “Well, I’m not happy.”

Me: Then which one are you?

Yo mama so short, she wakes up every day in a brick house singing “Everything is Awesome”.

Why do dwarfs laugh when they run a race? Because the grass tickles their balls.

"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.

My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?

Why are you so tall?

You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.

Give a man a plane ticket, he’ll fly for a day. Push a man out of a plane flying 10,000 miles up, he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...

Can bees fly higher than Mt. Everest? No? Actually, they can. Mt. Everest can't fly.

I'M SHORTTT!