Height jokes
Why did the midget laugh when he ran? Because the grass tickles his balls.
You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice and dreams.
Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.
Why did the short person become a chef?
Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!
Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?
Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
What did the janitor think when he was mopping the 101st floor?
The 102nd.
What do you call a dark, average height Punjabi male?
Josiah.
Gently throw a baby off a ten story building!
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, because it’s the normal person's height.
Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...
Why are short people sad?
Don't judge though, it's crap but...
Because they couldn't reach happiness.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.
Yo mama so tall, she eats paramedics.
Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.
You're so short that you don't have to open the front door to get inside the house.
You’re so short, you could sweep under your bed while standing.
It's gonna take a step stool to get a blow job.
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips!