Height jokes
Why did the midget laugh when he ran? Because the grass tickles his balls.
How is the weather down there?
Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.
You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice and dreams.
You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.
Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?
Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
Why did the short person become a chef?
Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!
I don't ignore dwarfs, I just overlook them.
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
What do you call a dark, average height Punjabi male?
Josiah.
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, because it’s the normal person's height.
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.
What did the janitor think when he was mopping the 101st floor?
The 102nd.
Gently throw a baby off a ten story building!
Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...
Yo mama so tall, she eats paramedics.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
You’re so short, you could sweep under your bed while standing.
Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.
It's gonna take a step stool to get a blow job.