Height jokes

Why couldn’t the midget ride the bus?

He can’t slam dunk his bus fare!

I have fun going on them roller coasters that go really high up and sitting by random people, and once we get to the high point, I look at the stranger and go "wham" and unplug their seat belt.

Hey Max, what's up? The sky.

A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flying around about six inches above the water. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal."

There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal."

There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal."

There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal."

There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal."

Then it all happened.

The fly dropped six inches.

The fish came up and caught the fly.

The bear came out and caught the fish.

The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich.

The mouse went for the sandwich.

The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond.

The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.

I’m a short joke.

I’m only five feet tall 😞

You’re so short, I bet you don’t have to bend to tie your shoelaces.

You’ve really gotta hand it to short people because they usually can’t reach it anyway.

Why are midgets constantly thirsty?

They can't reach the drinking fountains.

I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.

What’s the best thing about midgets??

They don’t need to bend while giving blowjobs.

I was looking for my sister... I looked down at my feet and saw her.

1, 2 you built like a dork.

3, 4 you got no girl, 4, 5 you're shorter than a remote.

My friend said she wanted to fly, so I pushed her off a building.

You look tall for being a yellow dwarf. You are 432,450 miles tall!

I'M SHORTTT!

What do you call a dwarf with ESP that escaped a prison?

A small medium at large.

Why did the midgets laugh when they run?

Because their balls dragged along the ground. 😅😂🤣

Why is a giraffe's neck so long?

Because his head is so high up in the air.

You're so short you could be drowned by heavy rains.

You may not like me, but you still look up to me.