Height jokes

Whoever is reading this, I hope you have a good day because I feel bad you're so short.

Dwarf Shortage.

Life is too short, just like me. Get roasted, short people!

How tall does the grass grow in Germany?

Zis high!

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

The grass tickles their balls.

I remember my grandad's last words: "Are you still holding the ladder?"

When you say, "I'm high!"

But then you fall off.

"Mine is 3 inches."

"That's not very lo..."

"From the ground."

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Perform fellatio.

How many people can jump higher than a mountain? None. Mountains can't jump.

You're so tall that you are a measuring tape.

Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"

Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"

Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"

I could never date a midget.

We would never see eye to eye.

My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."

You’re so short, you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.

If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 2.5-hour Energy?

Why do midgets need a lot of books at school?

So they can reach the top of the desk.

Why did the midget laugh when he ran? Because the grass tickles his balls.

How is the weather down there?

Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.