Height jokes
Why do midgets run on balls?
Because the grass tickles them.
Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.
Whoever is reading this, I hope you have a good day because I feel bad you're so short.
Dwarf Shortage.
How tall does the grass grow in Germany?
Zis high!
Life is too short, just like me. Get roasted, short people!
"Mine is 3 inches."
"That's not very lo..."
"From the ground."
When you say, "I'm high!"
But then you fall off.
I remember my grandad's last words: "Are you still holding the ladder?"
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
Yo mama so short, she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work!
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Perform fellatio.
How many people can jump higher than a mountain? None. Mountains can't jump.
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 2.5-hour Energy?
You're so tall that you are a measuring tape.
I could never date a midget.
We would never see eye to eye.
My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."
You’re so short, you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
Why do midgets need a lot of books at school?
So they can reach the top of the desk.