Height jokes
You’re so short, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.
I would make a joke about short people, but they probably couldn't hear it.
Two Australians walk into a bar. They run into the ceiling fan immediately.
Yo mama so short, she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work!
Why do midgets laugh while they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
Dwarf: pulls down the flap for the mirror.
Also dwarf: can’t see.
The only problem being short and gay is that whenever I try to tell people I'm top in my relationship, they don't believe me because I'm shorter than the person I'm dating, like, WTF?
Why couldn’t the midget talk?
Because someone stepped on him.
Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!
If I went out with a dwarf, when I pick them up, I'll say, "Wassup short?"
What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.
Why did the rapper become a pilot?
Because he wanted to take his flow to new heights!
You're shorter than a thumbtack, like, boy, your auntie is probably taller than you.
My friend: "Hey, I see a dwarf!"
Me: "Where?"
Friend: "In front of me."
- Why is that flight waiting at 30,000 feet height?
- One tire became flat. They are changing it in the middle of the journey.
Why don't the giraffes go to elementary school? Because they are already in high school.
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
What's the difference between a midget and a tall person? Only one of them can ride the rides.
Why couldn’t the midget ride the bus?
He can’t slam dunk his bus fare!
I have fun going on them roller coasters that go really high up and sitting by random people, and once we get to the high point, I look at the stranger and go "wham" and unplug their seat belt.