Optometrist jokes
An Asian man goes to the eye doctor.
The doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract."
The Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."
You think people with glasses are smart, but they fail the eye doctor test.
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the optometrist?
Because she’s dead.
Uma Thurman's optometrist must have wide glasses sometimes.
What did Hitler tell the eye doctor?
“I can na-zi.”
Why did the rapper go to the optometrist?
Because he needed to improve his RAP VISION.
If you need to squint to read this...
You probably need glasses.
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One (flips lens) or two? One (flips another lens) or two?
I went to the eye doctor and I couldn't read. They showed me a picture of a birthday cake and I thought it was a menorah!
"Herro, I cannot see my eyes."
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone.
It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
The happier they get, the less they see.
I'm a family doctor and I wish I could help but... you're an orphan.