Health jokes

Why do athletes cool down fast? Because they have fans.

Wash your hands.

What do you say after you go out for middle eastern food? I falafel (feel awful)!

Your mum so fat she's diabetic... LOL

How can you tell if a gay guy has a high sperm count?

Chew when you swallow!

What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable?

The wheelchair.

You know what they say: "Location, location, location." So my dad stuck a thermometer up his butt, and now he has degrees.

What kind of nut hates baseball? A nut that’s sick.

What time is it when you cannot walk? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽.

What's the difference between a computer and a crumpled person? A computer runs.

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.

My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

Cancer, it's just funny, hahaha.

Duck my sick.

Good news! There's a new program to help autistic people. It's called Action T-4.

Me: Doctor, can I get a new butt? My old one has a crack in it.

Doctor: I told you a billion times already. Everyone's butt has a crack in it.

Me: How do you know that?

Perfect dinner joke.

Did you hear about the new movie, "Constipated?"

It hasn’t come out yet.

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.

Bro, if you have anorexia, you have no skin at all.

Why do babies cry? Cuz they can't suck very well.

What do you call a person who smokes?

Smokey the Bear.

Nie cut G.