Health jokes
You know what they say: "Location, location, location." So my dad stuck a thermometer up his butt, and now he has degrees.
Why did the other Down syndrome guy say to the other Down syndrome guy?
What is going on here?
Breakfast! 😂
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
Cancer, it's just funny, hahaha.
Duck my sick.
Memes
Why do babies cry? Cuz they can't suck very well.
What do you call a person who smokes?
Smokey the Bear.
Good news! There's a new program to help autistic people. It's called Action T-4.
Me: Doctor, can I get a new butt? My old one has a crack in it.
Doctor: I told you a billion times already. Everyone's butt has a crack in it.
Me: How do you know that?
Perfect dinner joke.
Did you hear about the new movie, "Constipated?"
It hasn’t come out yet.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.
Bro, if you have anorexia, you have no skin at all.
Nie cut G.
My wife is not only gone like gonorrhea, she is also gone because of my (and now her) gonorrhea.
What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?
Eating the wheelchair.
Here in IHOP, we serve pancakes, not pie cakes. If so, we can always bring in a chart that will power the customer. His smile will remain at its current form, and police surely resisted when I said the word "surely."
Which part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
Total gym.
Yo momma so ugly, her blood type is puss.
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”