Health jokes
Why do athletes cool down fast? Because they have fans.
Wash your hands.
What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What do you say after you go out for middle eastern food? I falafel (feel awful)!
What's the difference between a computer and a crumpled person? A computer runs.
What kind of nut hates baseball? A nut that’s sick.
You know what they say: "Location, location, location." So my dad stuck a thermometer up his butt, and now he has degrees.
Why is Viagra just like Disneyland?
It's a 1 hour wait for a 5 minute ride.
Why did the other Down syndrome guy say to the other Down syndrome guy?
What is going on here?
Breakfast! 😂
Why are fat people fat? Because they eat like Indians eating curry, except fat people eat many more portions.
What do you call someone with no legs?
Disabled.
Your mum so fat she's diabetic... LOL
How can you tell if a gay guy has a high sperm count?
Chew when you swallow!
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
Cancer, it's just funny, hahaha.
Duck my sick.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.
What do you call a person who smokes?
Smokey the Bear.
Bro, if you have anorexia, you have no skin at all.
Me: Doctor, can I get a new butt? My old one has a crack in it.
Doctor: I told you a billion times already. Everyone's butt has a crack in it.
Me: How do you know that?
Good news! There's a new program to help autistic people. It's called Action T-4.