Health jokes
Your mum so fat she's diabetic... LOL
How can you tell if a gay guy has a high sperm count?
Chew when you swallow!
What's the difference between a computer and a crumpled person? A computer runs.
Why do athletes cool down fast? Because they have fans.
Wash your hands.
What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What do you say after you go out for middle eastern food? I falafel (feel awful)!
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
Cancer, it's just funny, hahaha.
Duck my sick.
Bro, if you have anorexia, you have no skin at all.
Good news! There's a new program to help autistic people. It's called Action T-4.
Me: Doctor, can I get a new butt? My old one has a crack in it.
Doctor: I told you a billion times already. Everyone's butt has a crack in it.
Me: How do you know that?
Perfect dinner joke.
Did you hear about the new movie, "Constipated?"
It hasn’t come out yet.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.
Why do babies cry? Cuz they can't suck very well.
What do you call a person who smokes?
Smokey the Bear.
Nie cut G.
My wife is not only gone like gonorrhea, she is also gone because of my (and now her) gonorrhea.
Here in IHOP, we serve pancakes, not pie cakes. If so, we can always bring in a chart that will power the customer. His smile will remain at its current form, and police surely resisted when I said the word "surely."
What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?
Eating the wheelchair.