Health jokes
"Ouch!"
"What's wrong?"
"I stepped on a screw."
"Are you ok?"
"I'm in ex-screw-ciating (excruciating) pain!"
Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?
A: A clothes hanger.
Why can’t an orphan take medicine?
They need parental supervision.
What did Omnicron say to Delta?
"Same race, bud, different evolution."
"SIX FEET AWAY, OMNI! SIX FEET AWAY!"
What’s a cancer girl's sex kink?
Hair pull.
What is it that gay men can't get from having too much oral sex?
Erectile dysfunction.
Therapists are rapists in disguise, because "the rapist".
What can you catch, but not throw?
You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.
Taco Bell makes you crappy.
Stephen Hawking never used a condom. He used a firewall.
What happens when the Twin Towers breathe? They collapse like an orphan with stage 4 cystic fibrosis who lives in the streets of Africa.
I'M SOOOO SAD. (I have depression btw)
Who is the first person an orphan sees? The doctor.
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
I'm black, and I have a dying family in my basement that hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. They need help.
Btw, it's a joke lol.
What do dentists play at their practice?
Dental records.
This isn't really a joke, but I HAVE PTSD, YAY! :)
What is mad cow disease?