Health jokes
What would be the most heartbreaking scene in a dementia film? I forgor 💀.
I'm black, and I have a dying family in my basement that hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. They need help.
Btw, it's a joke lol.
Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?
Because they've already been roasted!
What do you get from childhood drama? A ginger with autism.
TRUE STORY!
X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen.
I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her!
Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
Where did the eye doctor keep all his kittens? On Cat-A-Racks!
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
It's still depression, by the way.
There was a guy how had a stroke, eh.
He's all right.
What's the difference between anal and oral?
Oral makes your day whereas anal makes your whole weak.
What can you catch but not throw?
A cold!
What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!
For so long, I thought I was a Gemini, apparently I'm Cancer!
Roses are red, my blood is too, And I've been seeing it a lot more, since I've lost you.
A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"
If a person with Down syndrome robs you, what do you say? “I’m up your Down.”
What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?
"You're too young to smoke!"
That's not even a bad joke-
What's bald and can't grow no hair?
A kid with cancer.