Health jokes
I bought these trainers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced it with, but I have been trippin' all day.
Why did the person peel his skin off? Because he wanted to.
What did the doc say to the skeleton? You're skele-a-ton.
A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"
Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.
I told my doctor I ate a bunch of bananas. It wasn’t a very a-peeling experience.
Memes
Was he under insurance claim?
What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"
What's the worst part about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
I had a glass of Schweppes lemonade in one hand and a glass of R. Whites in the other. I got into a hot sweat. I think I have Corona Virus.
I did a good walk and I...
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
What's the difference between anal and oral?
Oral makes your day whereas anal makes your whole weak.
Wanna hear a joke? You need some milk.
Why did the computer catch cold?
It left a window open.
What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty laundry!
What do you give the dentist of the year? A little plaque.
Why did the rapper go to therapy?
To work on his FLOW ISSUES.
Hugging Leo is a great way to commit suicide... you’d just drown in all her fatness.
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he dropped the mic and picked up weights!
Q: What was the last thing the United Healthcare CEO heard before he got shot?
A: "It's me, Luigi!"