Health jokes
What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?
The HIV test results.
Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.
Cancer cancer cancer cancer. (joke speaks for itself)
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test.
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted me and my dad and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home.
Your mama is so stupid, Patrick Starr ran away because he thought she might be contagious.
Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.
Patient: It runs in the family.
Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.
White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?
Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!
What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?
You die of laughter.
John pretended to be a doctor.
Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."
John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"
Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."
John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"
Motu said, "I lost my memory."
John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"
A man walked into a bar... He got seven stitches.
Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.
My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.
What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?
Time to go to the doctor! 🥼
What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?
Organ harvesting.
How do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?
You guys, this is my last time publishing something here. You guys have been sending rude comments, and I need to work on my mental health. Goodbye.
Taco Bell makes you crappy.
Depressed people are lame because they are just lame, no reason.
What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A rape victim!