Why was the man running around his bed?
Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!!
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it. The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!" (Found on the web if you don't like it don't leave a hate comment)
Why do the police never catch the orphan? The orphan is not wanted
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until I find one, I'm stuck here holding my rod.
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says “hey dad! Whatcha doin?” His father says “I’m filling your moms tank” Johnny says, “oh yeah well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because th milk man filled her up this morning.”
Calling Alabama's football team an astonishment would be the biggest understatement of the century, especially since they continuously catch balls from someone who isn't related to them.
Three men are outside Heaven's gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them "Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven".
The first guy says "I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times". The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says "11 years and only once" and is granted a Mercedes.
The last man says "20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart" and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse".
The guy looks up and says "How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard"
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
i bet a disabled kid on a wheelchair that if he could catch me ill give him 1000 dollars he said deal and i went upstairs
Why don’t mountains catch colds? They wear snow caps.
A man shoots up a School and then fakes his own death, he then later returns to shoot up the same school, he repeats the prosses a few times untill the police catch him, when they ask why he did it, he replied "I wondered when you would check if i was still breathing"
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says "Oh what chest!" " That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says "Oh what legs!'' He says "That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says "Why were you running?" She said I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."
Dr Fauci would be surprised to know that R Kelly didn't catch COVID-19. But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.
what did one twin tower say to the other? Be back I gotta catch a plane
while undressing a woman, she told me she has aids, i told her she cant catch it twice but she still kept screaming
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.
