Health jokes

What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?

Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.

WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.

I'm black, and I have a dying family in my basement that hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. They need help.

Btw, it's a joke lol.

Who is the first person an orphan sees? The doctor.

What do dentists play at their practice?

Dental records.

What do you call cancers? Loyal, protective, and caring.

Why'd the rubber go flying across the room?

Because it got pissed off!

What are two things you could call a fart?

"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"

Why did the tomato blush?

Answer: Because it saw the salad dressing.

During Covid, lockdown went on for so long that even the agoraphobics got cabin fever.

Why didn't the teddy bear want to go to the gym?

Because he didn't want to get ripped.

Hey there, wanna buy some chromosomes?

Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.

The sir: My children will be devastated.

Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.

The sir: Whatever it takes.

*Suppressed gunshots*

Tooth 1: Hey, do you like my jokes?

Tooth 2: Yeah, but they're cracking me up.

The Queen: "I've had a few medical problems this year. I'm so old that my pussy is haunted!"

Why did the orange stop? Because it ran out of juice.

Why did the cucumber go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling well!

A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?

Aaaawwwww I got dicklash!

Yo mama so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.

What do you call a bloody pig?

HAMorrhage!

Sarcastic Doctor: Tell me.

Guy: I have leukemia in the brain.

Sarcastic Doctor: That doesn't concern me.