Health jokes
I'm hertophobic.
It means I'm allergic to straights.
A man came running into a hospital saying, "Doctor, Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know I amputated your arms!"
Why can’t an orphan take medicine?
They need parental supervision.
What did Omnicron say to Delta?
"Same race, bud, different evolution."
"SIX FEET AWAY, OMNI! SIX FEET AWAY!"
What do you call cancers? Loyal, protective, and caring.
Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?
A: A clothes hanger.
Why did the cucumber go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling well!
Why did the orange stop? Because it ran out of juice.
What do dentists play at their practice?
Dental records.
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
I'm black, and I have a dying family in my basement that hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. They need help.
Btw, it's a joke lol.
What’s a cancer girl's sex kink?
Hair pull.
What is it that gay men can't get from having too much oral sex?
Erectile dysfunction.
Taco Bell makes you crappy.
Therapists are rapists in disguise, because "the rapist".
You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.
Who is the first person an orphan sees? The doctor.
This isn't really a joke, but I HAVE PTSD, YAY! :)
When I found out that 10 billion bowls of soup are consumed each year in AMERICA, I thought to myself, "I thought soup was healthy. Apparently not!"