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What pool never runs dry? The one on the Titanic.

Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin

If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.

If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.

I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn…

If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.

I’m like the sun; I’m painful to look at.

If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.

I’m like an eggshell… broken and empty.

If I was a mythical creature I’d be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.

I’m like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.

My soul is a raisin because it’s dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.

I’m like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.

I’m like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.

I’m like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.

I’m like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.

I’m like a shity book cover… because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.

My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can’t afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety

Help me…

Why did the squirrel do the backstroke? He wanted to keep his nuts dry.

Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?

To keep its nuts dry

Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience. The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, “if you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!”

What do lawyers wear to court?lawsuits

wanna hear a dry joke? a desert

What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…

I like women how I like my hair dryer, locked in a closet most of the time, and only being used to blow me dry

im bone dry in material but i have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes after i tell you all these rib ticklers you will have a bone to pick with if you didn’t find that funny you outta rip my spine out

Hey stinks you know why cuz ur butts dry

Eli Tremain

Robyn Olive in 10

Why do women fart when they pee to blow dry

whats the difference between a pool and a toddler? one doesn’t scream when you go in dry ;)

this one time i said to a person that tehy are dry they i was wet (ba dum tiss) my bully said i have to shut up i said shut down (ba dum tiss)