Health jokes
I tried getting an abortion, but they said, "Sir, this is a pizzeria."
Q: What is the most expensive haircut? A: Chemo therapy.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: "Asperger's."
I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO. (Don't bother to like or comment, I just had to say this.)
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
tru tho
What do you call an STD?
Elenji.
I don't know what an HD is, but my doctor says I have 80 of 'em'.
What did the doctor say to the potato?
It told it it had tuberculosis.
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
Me: I have an arrow in my head.
My friend: What's the point of that?
Me: Of the arrow?
Friend: No!
Me: Probably the flint.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Coca-Cola!
My favorite kind of face mask is the plastic bag.
They said time heals all wounds, well, I broke your watch.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Social distancing.
I bought these trainers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced it with, but I have been trippin' all day.
This person has Down syndrome.
What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?
Her dad didn't beat cancer.
"What do you tell a person with depression?
Just hang in there, buddy!"
Solve this equation: a gay boy + a whole lot of drugs = A hyped up f'ing machine.
Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.