Health jokes
Parademic
I am like Cookie Monster on steroids when it comes to cookies.
I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hay fever.
Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.
Your bitch has Covid-19.
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
What do you get if you do not eat? Dry.
What did the horse say when his throat was sore?
I have a hoarse throat!
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?
Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.
What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?
Anarexic.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
🎉🎇🎊🎆🎈
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Natyourcheese.
Natyourcheese who?
Natyourcheese, I wasn't gonna say bless you!
Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?
Because it was a good source of mussel mass!
Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
What is red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
Robert Smith walks into a hospital. The nurse says, "We have the cure!"