Health jokes
What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
What did the horse say when his throat was sore?
I have a hoarse throat!
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What is red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
Memes
Robert Smith walks into a hospital. The nurse says, "We have the cure!"
Why did the bike fall over? Because I was too tired.
Why do doctors use so much lipstick?
Because they love cos-medics!
What do you get if you do not eat? Dry.
The bright side of this pandemic is now both my hands look equally chapped and raw.
What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?
Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.
Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?
Because it was a good source of mussel mass!
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?
Anarexic.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
🎉🎇🎊🎆🎈
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Natyourcheese.
Natyourcheese who?
Natyourcheese, I wasn't gonna say bless you!
Why does cancer kill you? Because it does. 🌝
Q: What's green and yellow and eats balls?
A: Gonorrhea.
What do you call the fighters with an extra chromosome?
Downy unstopables.
What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?
A baby with a javelin in its head!