Health jokes
Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?
Yo mama is so fat that her wheelchair had to be made into a couch!
You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
How do you get rid of a fat ghost? You exercise it.
Memes
Your hairline goes so far back you have to wear sunscreen.
I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."
Numb Butt Wheelchair Club: No Feeling, No Problem!
I never get off on the wrong foot.
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.
What's 2ft long, blue, and stiff and keeps a woman up all night?
Cot death.
What do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day?
A lazy bones!
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.
I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?
If laughter is contagious, Kris's jokes are immunity.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
Because they're all about those DENTAL GRILLS!
When it's NNN but you have a peanut allergy: 🥳
What's a saying you shouldn't tell an epileptic?
Seize your moment.