Parademic jokes

"Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."

What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?

The Creature from the Black Legume.

What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?

A horse chestnut tree.

A zebra couldn't find any grass. Then he saw a monkey cooking. He thought to steal a little, but he was burned in the fore, and the smoke was all over him. But when he went to the ocean, it was still there, and zebras are stuck in this style forever.

What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?

A walnut.

Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.

Which type of nut goes to outer space?

An astro-nut.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? I butter not tell you.

Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.

A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.

Die you potato.

I baked you a pie.

Oh boy, which flavor?

Pie Pie Pie Pie.

Dad, I'm hungry.

Hi hungry, I'm dad.

Why did you name this way?

Why Why Why?

Why did the elephant cross the road?

To get to the peanut.

What competition do nuts participate in?

The peanut butter cup.

Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost? The nearest Shell station.

One would think Dracula would have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, no one likes him. He is a pain in the neck.

"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.

Parademic

Your secret is safe with me. I walnut tell a soul.

Which nut is the worst for your diet?

Donuts.

What did one nut say to the other?

“Cashew later.”