Parademic jokes
"Peppa Pig"-like pandemics.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Walnut. Walnut who? I walnut tell you. It’s a secret.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io!
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
Q: How would a chicken leave?
A: Through the exit.
"Parademics are so bad, yo mama can't stop!"
Wolf looks like a fox.
It has the sharpest claws.
It has a bushy tail.
To eat, it doesn't fail.
It has a coat of red.
My grandmother has said,
It hunts in search of food.
It is never, never good!
Happy was a cute hippo.
Happy sleeps in the water.
Happy walks on land.
Happy runs on Savannahs.
Happy swims in mud.
Happy takes a bath.
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that’s running late!
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
Kidloland
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.