Health jokes
Why do you never see gay people in wheelchairs?
You can’t be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Why did the fish go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling “eel.”
"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
"Oh, hey, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?
Your mum.
Why are skinny people skinny?
Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.
Memes
Sometime ago I went to the morgue and asked if they took walk-ins.
Why do women have periods? Because they deserve them!
What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?
A plastic surgeon. 😷
What part of a vegetable can’t you eat?
The wheelchair. 😑
What do you call an autistic daughter?
What do Hiroshima and Nagasaki share in common with balls?
They both drop.
Yo momma's so fat that she got married to diabetes!
Joe's pizzeria and abortion clinic.
Yesterday's loss is today's sauce.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
POOP!
Yo momma so fat, her ankle broke and gravy poured out.
What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?
You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"
Where do depressed people go to eat?
Suicide Sonic.
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!
Why was the tamale in the hospital? Because he was a "tamalito."
A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.