Health jokes
Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.
Health commercials be like:
Serious side effects can cause:
Nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, chills, fever, cancer, diabetes, AIDS, chlamydia, lupus, Ebola, polio, leprosy, pulmonary edema, heart attack, heart failure, yellow fever, but worst of all, DEATH!
My sister said you smell, but then she saw her panties having moles on it.
What did the Army soldier say after he got his legs fixed?
Afgan-I-Stand.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.
So what is the difference between a real doctor and a doctor of philosophy?
One cures the sick and the other makes them sick!
Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?
A: Tumor.
What's worse than Aaron with Down syndrome?
Aaron with a rope.
Why do you never see gay people in wheelchairs?
You can’t be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Why did the fish go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling “eel.”
What do you call an autistic daughter?
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
Our family is known for unusually sloppy diarrhea.
It runs in our jeans.
What do you call a skeleton with no arms? An un-armed skeleton.
Why are there blind people? Because there is.
What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?
Your mum.
What part of a vegetable can’t you eat?
The wheelchair. 😑
What did the skeleton say when he fell on his funny bone? He laughed!
I pregnoot.
Why are skinny people skinny?
Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.