Health jokes
Hands down, syndromes are bad.
I have something on my lip and I think I’m taller than you.
"Who am I?"
I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.
Two nuns were sitting on a bench. A flasher flashed them, and one of the nuns had a stroke... but the other one was too far away :)
A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 2 beers." The bartender gives him two beers and coughs in the guy's beer bottles before giving it to him. The guy says to the bartender, "Hey, what are you doing? I didn't order Bud Lights, I want Corona beer." The bartender replies, "Sir, I gave you a mix of Bud Light and Corona, and it's on the house, everyone is drinking Corona tonight."
Why do women have periods?
Because they deserve them, haha!
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his fillings checked.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his DENTAL FLOW checked.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get their FILLINGS fixed.
What do you call people with ADHD?
A brainless speeder.
A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?
Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.
I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?
Air quality alert code brown!
Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
What do you call a flooded hospital?
Vegetable soup.
Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.
Question: Did you know that "diarrhea" is hereditary?
Answer: It "runs" in your jeans!
What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.