What's harder than taking a shit?
Trying to take a shit while constipated!
What do most disabled people eat?
Their arm.
What’s red, nine inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?
Her abortion.
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
Hi, what's your name?
I don't know, I'm disabled.
What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?
They will never grow up.
How do you know someone is autistic?
They get stuck in a loop very often.
Why did the tamale go to the hospital?
because estava malito :)
"Guess what my wife left in the freezer?"
"Her miscarriage."
Roses are black, violets are black.
I’m colorblind.
If only Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass's sandwich...
Why did the orange stop?
Because it ran out of juice. Hahhaha.
I wish I was blind.
I'm hertophobic.
It means I'm allergic to straights.
What is 1 + 1?
They didn’t tell me. Their stomach is upset.
A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."
What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?
How do you poop?
I didn’t eat breakfast because I’m starving myself.
Why did the wheels not move on his wheelchair?
Because he had no legs.
