Health jokes
An obese kid farts.
What do you call a kid with autism who saw Star Wars?
Chewbacca.
Hands down, syndromes are bad.
I have something on my lip and I think I’m taller than you.
"Who am I?"
What is it called when an art teacher has a heart attack?
An art attack!
What is a type of cancer that:
Affects you. Is caused by a device. Is annoying. People won't stop talking about it?
Easy, the answer is Fortnite.
Jeffy: I need a new butt. My old one has a crack in it.
What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.
Two nuns were sitting on a bench. A flasher flashed them, and one of the nuns had a stroke... but the other one was too far away :)
A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 2 beers." The bartender gives him two beers and coughs in the guy's beer bottles before giving it to him. The guy says to the bartender, "Hey, what are you doing? I didn't order Bud Lights, I want Corona beer." The bartender replies, "Sir, I gave you a mix of Bud Light and Corona, and it's on the house, everyone is drinking Corona tonight."
Why do women have periods?
Because they deserve them, haha!
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his fillings checked.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his DENTAL FLOW checked.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get their FILLINGS fixed.
Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.
A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?
Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.