Health jokes
What do you call a flooded hospital?
Vegetable soup.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
My mental health.
If you're feeling numb, use your thumb.
I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.
So I ended up doing the YMCA.
Memes
Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.
Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.
What does a doctor do to make you better?
Helium.
What’s weaker than a daffodil? Mundy’s ankles.
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
What do you call an STD?
Elenji.
What do you call a fat downie?
A couch potato.
What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.
Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My name is Ach.
Ach who?
Bless you!
Why did the doctor tell the man to go for a mountain walk?
Alps clear the mind! Haha.
They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?
I met a talking lizard. The doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction! 🦎
I C U P works on 88% of people.
How does a woman scare their gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.