Health jokes
How do you poop?
What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas? AIDS.
I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful, like cyanide.
I'm better than you in every single way... I even have an extra chromosome.
Why did the booty go to therapy?
It had some DEEP-SEATED issues.
"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
"Oh, hey, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
How much did the liver weigh?
It weighed a skeleTON.
I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.
Down syndrome sucks!
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What do you call a cow on steroids? A bull-y.
What do you call a bunch of wheelchairs on top of one another?
A vegetable rack.
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
What did Allan say to William, his sister, when he stepped on his toe? "OWWW Mitosis."
What do you call a Muslim with Tourette’s? A ticcing time bomb.
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...
You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.
Why did the person peel his skin off? Because he wanted to.