What do depression and suicide have in common?
Nothing, they're both hanging.
Health Jokes
If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.
If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.
What time is it when you have a toothache?
2:30 (Tooth hurty).
My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.
What’s a guy with Tourette’s favorite app to use? Tiktok.
Get the gun, shoot it up your bum!
What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some chips and sweets.
No, he can't keep his heart rate down, and she's got diabetes.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.
The 9/11 and the Spanish flu are kind of similar.
The Spanish flu was a very dangerous flu, and in 9/11, something very dangerous flew.
Hey, that's the thing my grandpa has. They say that to treat it, I should call him a bitch!
What's long and hard and has c*m in the middle? Cucumber. What were you thinking?
Your mum went to the dentist so she could install Bluetooth.
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer?
There's no stage 5.
What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.
If just Africa had more mosquito nets, millions of innocent mosquitoes could be saved from a horrible death of AIDS.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
What does a depressed person say when they're happy?
"..."
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
My ass itches.
