My grandma was telling me to be positive. As i was going in for an aids test
Why do dwarfs do drugs? To get high
Why are cigarettes good for the environment? They kill people.
I hate wearing a mask in public
What do we want A cure for obesity When do we want it After lunch
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose. She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.
I don't know what an hd is, but my doctor says I have 80 of em'
Im related to diarrhea it runs in my geans
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam? The doctor take off his watch
Not a joke but theres no where else to post this , ( mainly this post is for the broke people w/o a gym ) . Did you know that the body can't tell if ur using weights? so lifting weights are optional . some beginner workouts W/O weights for like really weak ppls . 1. sit - up's 10 reps 2. push - up's 20 per reps 3. squat's 10 per reps 4. crunches 10 per reps
So I ran into my Specialist Doctor and he said "pick a star sign, any star sign" so I said "Capricorn " and he said "nah you got cancer".
Man Goes To The Doctor He Has A Banana sticking out of one ear , a carrot stinking out of the other ear and a green been stinking out of one nostrils. "Doctor, I'm not feeling well" the man complains. " Well, it's no wonder" The Doctor replies " You're not eating right"
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested”. The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?”. The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish”.
My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother. My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.
My syndrome may be down but my hopes are up !
I’ve been munching away on these new tic tacs recently and honestly, they are really good. It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty tho, so it’s time to get some more!