Health jokes
Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.
A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."
The man asks, "Why?"
The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
Pooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Q: What's green and yellow and eats balls?
A: Gonorrhea.
Nancy be like, "Don't do drugs, do cock!"
Yo mama's so fat, I run around her for exercise.
I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.
I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
Why did the house go to the doctor?
Because it had a window pane.
What did the tissue wear?
A shoe.
Health feed fights grand gucxsrdcjcgfdz taxicab heaven reflection during harvesting.
Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?
Because they need parents' signature.
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing.
They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
When you get injured 😢
When you get injured in America 😭😭😭😭💵💵💵💵💵🏩🏩🏩
It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!
You're so skinny the world turns to the left!
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.