Health jokes
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra!
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain? He could feel it in his bones!
Ralphie: They put drugs in our medication?
Me: The medication is the drugs.
Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
McBongald's.
Why couldn't the kid with Down syndrome play football? Because he got all the downs.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.
Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when Blueface baby drops a new album.
Why'd the rubber go flying across the room?
Because it got pissed off!
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO. (Don't bother to like or comment, I just had to say this.)
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?
'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.
Yo mama is so fat when she goes to the dentist, they make her lay face down.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
Last night I had the strangest dream!
I sailed away to China!
And I caught the coronavirus!
You said you needed to wash your hands!
Didn't want no one else to touch you! What does that mean?!
And you said!!
Ain't nothing gonna break my lungs 😤!
Ain't no way of slowing Covid down!
Oh no I've got to keep on coughing!!!