What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.
What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
My grief counselor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
There are painkillers, but they only relieve physical pain. I wish something could relieve my internal pain.
Why do orphans hate health ed at school?
Their parents can't opt them out of it.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
If the hairdresser is healthy, the cat is happy. *purr*.
On the other hand, if the hairdresser is sick, the cat is happy too. *purrs on the bed*
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
What is the only place fat people live?
Obi-city.
You think people with glasses are smart, but they fail the eye doctor test.
