Health jokes

We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.

You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.

What time is it when you say I can’t walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦼.

Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 100 pounds of crack.

"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."

Exercise?

I thought you said "extra fries!"

-A minion (you may now laugh).

Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there.

What part of a vegetable can't you eat? The wheelchair.

My mom told me to unplug all the electronics, so I unplugged my grandma's life support.

What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.

In the year 2020, who were the biggest enemies?

Coronavirus and toilet paper.

What is the difference between cremation and smoking?

While you are smoking, you don't go up in smoke.

During Covid, lockdown went on for so long that even the agoraphobics got cabin fever.

I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.

Why are kids so skinny?

Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.

Only if Africa have enough mosquito nets, the mosquitos will not die of AIDS.

Gina: Maryen? Karlya? Amber? Kristie? Why isn't it listed that she's here?

Zari: Your sister isn't listed in the meantime, just relax.

Gina: That still doesn't answer why she's not listed. I want her to see me!

Zari: Anyway, it will be time for your medications, we have the gixen and the Uiasends.

Gina: Do you know my sister's name?

Zari: Yes. Her name is Jalien.

Gina: Fine, I don't care!!!

Why do you never see gay people in wheelchairs?

You can’t be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.

I wasn't going to have a brain transplant...

But then I changed my mind.

I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.